3 Days and 2 Miracles Later...

Early wednesday morning, at about 1 am we pulled into our sleeping destination, in Virginia. After 2 days of intense packing and a 16-17 hour drive with 6 adults, 2 kids under 5, a uhaul and 2 other vehicles, SLEEP was the only logical choice! We got some sleep and got up wednesday morning, went to look at 2 houses, unpacked the 26ft uhaul at the storage facility, unpacked the stuff in the top of my parents garage...and then we were ready for a NAP. It has been great to see everyone again and have felt extremely welcomed back:) Jesus is just so incredible.

I will preface this story by saying that no words can do justice to what we experienced wednesday evening. I'll try though:) Wednesday, before we ate dinner, my brother runs into my parents house and gets his pistol. I ask, "What are you doing?!?" He says, "Coconut (my parents chocolate lab) jumped off the top step of the porch and broke her neck. I've gotta shoot her." So- my first instict is to go after him out to the yard. In the yard in coconut laying on the grass, breathing extremely labored, eyes fixed and stiff as a board. My mom is visibly shaken and crying-- very upset by what shes seeing this dog go through, unable to help. Without a second thought I go straight down the steps and sit on the grass in front of the dog and begin praying for her. THere were no words that I could pray in English, but I started just praying in the Spirit. Coconuts tail was stuck straight out like a board and her back legs and torso were paralyzed. Her eyes were fixed and she was not moving. You could only hear her labored breathing and my family crying. Eric came out and we continued to pray that if it be Gods will that He would heal this dog. We prayed for about 5 minutes and coconut started to move eventually getting all the way up, with weak back legs. Within seconds- she was up, completely recovered chasing a ball across the yard. She is absolutely fine. Healed. God does love dogs-- He created them...but He loves us so much more. Seeing this dog get up from paralysis was incredible. Jesus is incredible.

Yesterday (thursday) we spent a good part of the day visiting some close friends who just had a baby. They have cats and a dog, and karis' allergies kicked in big time. She was up all night coughing and sneezing. This morning, she woke up throwing up-- every 5 to 10 minutes, 3 or 4 times. Im thinking-- she cannot have the flu!!We just started praying over her, and praying and praying. After the 3rd time she threw up she closed her eyes and laid down like she was going to sleep. I continued to pray for her outloud-- she turned over, opened her eyes and said, "I'm better mommy. Its gone.". She didn't throw up anymore and has been eating like a horse all day!

It can be so easy when God does something miraculous, for us as humans to try and rationalize it and explain it away. For example, I could say, "well, the dog would've been fine"," its neck must not have been broke"...or "Karis never had the flu". I know the truth though. The Lord wants us to see signs wonders and miracles confirming His power and love to the world. I am so excited to see whats next. I am believing for sick to be healed, addicts to be set free, wombs to be opened, relationships to be restored and dead to be raised. It will happen-- oh that I could live in such a way that no flesh would remain and He could do whatever He wills with me. Thank you Jesus for your sacrifice that we may live.

What an incredible God we serve. I am in awe. Until next time-

Bittersweet Steps

The steps of a righteous man are ordered by the Lord. Psalm 37:23

Have you ever tasted bittersweet chocolate? It tastes just as it is described. Both bitter and sweet at the same time. In life, some steps the Lord asks you to take are what could be considered bittersweet: both pleasant and painful.

When we moved to Hamilton last November, the transition was one that I would consider bittersweet. If you have followed the blog at all, you have heard the pleasant and the painful. The ups and the downs. Again recently, the Lord has brought us to another one of those bittersweet moments. When you are seeking direction He will give it. The answers won't always be what you are expecting, but He will speak.

At the end of April Eric and I went on an extended fast seeking more of the Lord. We were approaching our 6 month mark here in Hamilton and just wanted to press in deeper to Jesus...to be able to see Him better and hear Him clearly. During the fast, around the second week of May, the Lord began to stir in Erics heart a desire to go back to Virginia.

**Just as some sort of preface to this stirring from the Lord: Since being in Hamilton we have had no desire to go back home. No homesickness. No plans of ever returning there permanently. We did go back and visit in December, and while it was a nice visit and it was good to see family and friends, our hearts were in Hamilton. We talked often of spending many years here. **

Eric never spoke to me about this stirring from the Lord, as He wasnt really sure if it was the Lord, or just his own mind. About three days after Eric had this initial feeling, I woke up one morning and wanted to go back to Virginia.For the first time since being in Hamilton I just wanted to go back. I expressed this to Eric, but going home to visit wasn't an option. He had just started a job at Lowe's and could not take any time off. Strangely, I felt crushed at the thought that we couldn't go. Over the next few days I just couldn't shake this feeling of wanting to go home. In a conversation on our way home from Tupelo, Eric shared the stirring that he has also been getting from the Lord to go home. Needless to say after some seeking and praying we felt like God was saying go to Virginia and be a part of Crossroads (which is the church that Eric's brother pastor's). He has asked us to go there and do two things: Fast and Pray. We have no other direction but that.

During the time we were praying and seeking confirmation that this was the word of the Lord to us, we recieved 2 confirmations from two different people that cofirmed the direction of the Lord to fast and pray in Virginia. As you can see from the next step asked of us by the Lord, this transition too will be a bittersweet one for our family. Hamilton has now become home and we have gained a family here. We will be sent ones from here in Hamilton to Virginia. We are looking forward with great expectation to what the Lord has in store.

Kevin and Christa (Erics brother and his wife) and another couple, will be coming down on August 2nd to pack us up and we will be leaving Hamilton on the 3rd. Eric has not gotten a job yet in Virginia, so please remain in prayer for us in this transition.

To all of you that are a part of the Ramp Community: You are all such incredible people! We feel so honored to have been sent here by the Lord to get connected here and to have run with you pursuing Jesus. We will always consider this place home and you our family. We love you all so very much!!

Until Next Time-

P90X of Spiritual Life

Hello again friend. I know it has been quite a few days since my last post. In the meantime, we all celebrated a holiday, Independance Day (unless of course you are reading this and you aren't american-lol). We made a trip to Tupelo on the 3rd and had our $12 Olan Mills pictures made.

They turned out pretty cute I think...although I really loathe most studio portraits. They usually seem to lack some element of real life...but karis definately brought life to the studio! After we got our pictures taken we went to a place called Ballard Park in Tupelo where they were having a big family day for the 4th. It was so beautiful there. It was a huge park with trees, a lake, a huge permanent stage, ducks, a huge track with really soft grass in the middle lol, and sidewalk trails. It was a nice day in the park, and then they had fireworks. Karis was very excited when she saw the moon finally in the sky because," The fireworks were comin'"...She loved it:) the soft grass:)

Mr Duck

So-- because we celebrated the 4th on the 3rd...we didn't really do anything on the 4th. It was so nice though:)

On to another topic--the P90X of spiritual life. Some of you are saying, "What the heck is P90X?" Well, my friend, here's a link where you can read about it: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/p90x ... Go ahead...read the 2 paragraphs from wikipedia if you don't know what it is.

Ok-- so we're on this journey with Jesus. Exiting. Hard. Happy. Thrilling. Steady. Never the same. Constant. Frustrating. Peaceful.Glorious. Those are just a few words that could describe it. There is also a new way I have started to descibe it... Jesus is to my spiritual body what P90X would be to my physical body. (In this statement, I am going on the word of others who have used P90x--I'm not tough enough...lol)

This relationship with Him is challenging our every thought. Every desire. Every action. Every motivation. Each day Eric and I read Matthew 5, 6 and/or 7. (I usually read all 3 chapters every day and Eric reads them like one a day or something). That to say- the Sermon on the Mount is an integral component of our everyday lives. We have made it a point to read and become extremely familiar with this incredible life changing three chapters. The thing is-- when it starts getting written on your heart, and you really have to start applying this stuff to your life, therein comes the "P90X" of christianity.

Aside from the obvious fact, that this program is extremely intense, one of the major components of P90X, that is different from the majority of other exercise programs, is the implementing of certain exercises to create "muscle confusion". This muscle confusion is what creates such great physical results in your body. Muscle confusion "Prevents the body from adapting to exercises over time, resulting in continual improvement without plateaus". Lately we have felt this "muscle confusion" idea at work in our spiritual lives...You get some revelation of something that needs to be cut away in your life, and once you cut that away there's another something that needs to be cut away. In this pursuit, God is continually adapting our process in order that we have continual improvement, with no flat plateaus.

"But we all, with unveiled faces, beholding as in a mirror the glory of the Lord,are being transformed into the same image from glory to glory, just as by the glory of the Lord." 2 Cor. 3:18

He takes us from glory to glory...from one place to another in Him. This process is is set up to work for us, if we can walk in it. And so the Sermon on the Mount is definately confusing my muscles. Eric and I are also reading 2 books by Leonard Ravenhill...who, by the way, I think is a must read for any Christian. One of the books is called 'Why Revival Tarries' and the other is called 'America is Too Young to Die'. He definately was a prophet of our day calling the church back to Jesus. Again though, for us, it is a tough pill to swallow. It's easy to read Matthew 5,6, and 7 and agree. Its easy to read Ravenhill and say yes and Amen. It is something completely different to walk out what you are saying you believe. Read Matt 5,6 and 7 for a taste of what Jesus says our lives should look like. Here's a small taste of Ravenhill ...

" No man is greater than his prayer life. The pastor who is not praying is playing; the people who are not praying are straying. The pulpit can be a shop window to display ones talents; the prayer closet allows no showing off." ... ..."Can any deny that in the modern church setup the main cause of anxiety is money? Yet, that which tries the modern churches most, troubled the New Testament church the least. Our accent is on paying, theres was on praying. When we have paid, the place is taken; when they had prayed, the place was shaken...For this kind of prayer there is no substitute. We do it- or die!"

I am looking forward to the results of this spiritual P90X...keep pressing into Jesus.

Until next time-

The Simple Challenge

Simple: not elaborate. not ornate or luxurious. not complicated. not complex. common or ordinary. not grand or sophisticated. humble or lowly.

What does a simple [insert above definition here] life look like?
According to the Bible, did Jesus ask us to live a simple [insert above definition here] life?
Does the American Dream facilitate a simple [insert above definition here] life?


Over the past several weeks our hearts have been stirred by Holy Spirit to examine what our lives are really supposed to look like. In a nation where your value is placed in degrees, jobs, income, cars and houses, living a simple life would look somewhat contrary to the normal pursuit of the American Dream.

[The American Dream: "Whereas the America Dream was once equated with certain principles of freedom it is now equated with things. The American Dream has undergone a metamorphosis from principles to materialism... When people are more concerned with the attainment of things than with the maintenance of principles, it is a sign of moral decay. And it is through such decay that loss of freedom occurs." - John E. Nestler, The American Dream]

The American Dream, although affording us many nice things on earth, seems to have left us in a whirlwind. We are always working, with not enough hours in the day. Our money is spent, almost before it is made. Our family relationships are even somewhat superficial, at the cost of getting more, more, more. Our spare time is filled with cell phone calls, internet, emails, TV, Ipods and vacations. For all that we have gained, are our lives really better off in the long run? We spend our lives going to college, moving up in the company, saving for retirement, retiring and then using the money we saved to have someone take care of us until we die. Is this American Dream really bringing freedom?

After considering the Ameican Dream concept in America, we began to look at the Bible and to examine some of the things that Jesus said about living life for Him. Since our goal is to live a life completely laid down, its important to know what Jesus said. In our search, we found a pretty straight forward Jesus. Let's take a look at some of Jesus' quotes from the Gospels and see if His design for life looks simple or like the American Dream.

"And if your hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away"..."If you are slapped on the right cheek, turn the other too"..."Pray for those who persecute you"..."Don't store up treasures here on earth"..."Don't worry about everyday life"..."Let me go bury my father...{no}Let the dead bury the dead"..."If you love your father and mother more than you love me, you are not worthy of being mine"..."Go and sell all you have and give the money to the poor"..."Beware! Don't be greedy for what you don't have. Real life is not measured by how much we own"..."A person is a fool to store up earthly wealth but not have a rich relationship with God"..."Sell what you have and give to those in need"..."So, noone can become my disciple without giving up everything for me"

Eric and I have aimed to live a simple life since we got married, but recently we have have been stirred to seek out what that really looks like on a practical level. When we look at the early church and how they lived, we can't help but ask ourselves, have we gotten offtrack somewhere? It's so easy to get pulled into "needing" money or "needing" a big house. But what do we really need? Please don't think that I am against houses, school, cars, jobs, promotions or vacation. I think those things can be from the Lord and are somewhat necessities of life. What we are finding though, is not that the stuff is all bad, but alot of the time our pursuit and use of the stuff is keeping us from a real realationship with Jesus. Instead, we are pursuing our jobs in order to pay our bills so that we can take care of our families with THINGS. Things that maybe God never intended us to have. In turn, our relationship with Jesus becomes a negotiable duty: prayer before meals, wednesday night church, sunday morning 10am pep talk.

After looking at the median American yearly income, we found that the average across America is between $44,000 and $50,000. We want to live our lives based on that average--and everything else will be given away. God is just showing us, the less we have, the less money we need. The less stuff we have, the lower our bills can be. And that is a freeing thought. It doesn't mean we can't make more than that, but what it does mean is that we will be free to give away whatever else God blesses us with. We want to see a church free from the cares of this life. A church free to give to those in need, because we aren't strapped to our bills for our "stuff". Acts 2:44-47 is such an encouraging picture of what we could see if we could simplify.

"And all the believers met together constantly and shared everything they had. They sold their possessions and shared the preoceeds with those in need. They worshipped together at the temple each day, met in homes for the Lords Supper, and shared their meals with great joy and generosity- all the while praising God and enjoying the good will of all the people. And each day the Lord added to their group those who were being saved."

We want to challenge you to live a simple life. One that isn't tied down to the things on this earth. All of us, regardless of our income can make adjustments to make more room for Jesus. We're so excited to see what the Lord will do with the body of Christ on earth whose lives are really laid down before Him. Then He will be able to pour out more than we could ever ask or think on us!

Until next time-

Home from Home

Its so strange when you move away from somewhere that has always been "home" and then call a new place "home". We spent the last week in Virgina visiting family and friends, still trying to figure out if we should say we're going home, to VA or we're coming home to hamilton. Either way- I guess although Virginia is where Eric and I were both raised and have called home, hamilton has also become home. Its an awesome feeling to know that wherever He is, it is home...Whether God leaves us here in Hamilton for a season, sends us back to va, or sends us somewhere else. When you make your dwelling, your home in Him, you're always there. And that is a comforting thought.

We got to see our families and spend several late nights catching up with family and friends. Food was everywhere! I think all three of a us gained a couple pounds while we were there! Karis did EXCEPTIONALLY well on the car ride. She was a trooper, thats for sure. 13 straight hours in a car for a two year old is not that fun--but she hung in there and only had a few tearful moments. As always, leaving is difficult...especially now that Karis realizes whats going on. Hopefully we'll see everyone again soon. Erics parents and sister are coming in for a visit in July--we'll all enjoy that since his sister lives in Las Vegas. It will be a treat!

God has continued to keep the fire of His presence burning in our home. He has astounded us with his unending love. What an honor to know the creator of heaven and earth. What a concept to think that He wants to know me! He is showing us more of who He is and who we are to Him. He is teaching us to live our lives daily true to the gospel. We are learning to live our lives layed down. To fast and pray. To love Him because we want to--not because we have to. I look forward to sharing more with you in the days ahead. He has revealed some great things to us...more to come next time.

Love you all so much. Thank you again for your faithful giving to us. Without you--our time here in Hamilton would be impossible. Keep the fire burning in the secret place.

Until next time...

PICTURES :)

bowling with daddy

at the park

pretty little lady

in the woods

bowling

chalk

karis and her friend justice

karis and daddy

trying on the bathing suit

Virginia, Bangs and Love

Its been a great week so far...although, now that I am thinking about it, it didn't start out so great. Sunday morning I woke up with the feeling of the flu coming upon me. Needless to say I spent all of sunday feeling miserable, laid out on the bathroom floor. It must have been just a 24-hour flu, because monday I felt 99% better. Noone else in the house got it, thank the Lord. We are making a trip to Virginia next week for a summer visit. We'll be in from the 5th until the 11th. It will be good to see everybody-- we are finding that our schedule while we're going to be there is pretty full--hopefully we'll see YOU! So--we're gettting ready for the drive and a two year old trapped in the car for a day! We'll be armed with lots of snacks and DVD's.

I recently got the urge to chop off all my hair. You ever get that feeling? Like you just need a change? Well- i decided against chopping it ALL off, and decided to get some bangs. It's a brave change for me-- I've had about the same hairstyle since I was in 7th grade...so it was time to take a risk...live a little. Luckily, I really like them! Now, how I'll feel about them in the humid Alabama summer, I'm not sure...but I'm sure I'll make it:) Here they are.

Karis is growing like a weed---She's talking in sentences and developing a little personality. She seems to be loosing her "baby" look... Its crazy how fast she's growing. Here's some pics of us and karis the last couple months.(can't get them all to load...I'll try and put them on another post:)
easter @ ms. karens

The past several weeks God has just been speaking so many things to us...it would be impossible for me to describe it all in one post. But, He has really encountered us with his love in a way that has set us ablaze on the inside. His love is just so unbelievable. I just think about Jesus, who before the world was created, chose death on a cross for me. If I was the only one here, He would have still done it. Without Him, I can not love. It takes God to love God. I have realized how incredibly small I am in this big picture called eternity. I have come to the realization that God does not need me. It's not going to put Him in a pinch if I don't do what He says. He LOVES me and wants me to be involved but He doesn't NEED me. He's pretty self sufficient. Yet He wants me. He loves that I choose to love him. It is an amazing thought to consider being loved by the creator of all that is and all that will ever be. Much more to come on this in the days to come.

We are all doing really well and about to start the super busy summer season at the Ramp.We are believing for hundreds of hearts to be set on fire by the Holy Spirit. We're excited to see what Gods gonna do!! Thank you again a thousand times for all of your support--if it wasn't for your prayer, love and generous hearts, we wouldn't be able to do this. Look forward to seeing you all in Virginia soon!! Keep burning!

Why Hamilton?

This week will mark 6 months since our move to Hamilton. The time has seemed to go by so quickly. God has definately given us a grace to be here, away from what was normal, what was comfortable and our support system. Just wanted to give you a 6 month overview and where we are.

Six months ago we drove away from our home, away from all that was familiar. We drove away from our families and left our "ministries" behind. We were going to the wilderness to sit at the feet of Jesus. Over the course of the last 6 months, we have encountered so many different emotions: Sadness, Happiness, Frustration, Lonliness, Clarity, Confusion, Love, Aggrivation and every emotion in between. The first month and a half, while emotional challenging, was glorious spiritually. It was like the glory of the Lord was in our home. And then came the desert.

One day in January I woke up and my quiet time was sandy. I'm sure any of you who have walked with the Lord for any length of time have encountered this: a pulling back of the Spirit in order to provoke a deeper seeking. This dry, desert provoking went on for several months. I got to a place where I felt so frustrated. Here we are surrounded by burning hearts encountering the Lord, and I am eating sand! Why Lord? It was so hard. So lonely. So unemotional. Thank the Lord for Molly being close by with listening ears. We talked about the dryness. The lonely desert. The daily application of spiritual disciplines even when you don't feel anything. We recalled the life of David--whom at times in Psalms seemed to be in the desert! Then she told me something that changed my perspective on what I was going through. She said, " When you take the time to pray and read your word and try to get into His precense, and you don't feel anything and you don't feel like your getting anything...those are the times that God looks at you and you are the most beautiful. He loves when you do what you are supposed to do, even though you are getting nothing tangible, emotional or measurable in return- your doing it just because you love Him." After that conversation, the desert didn't immediately leave, but I did start pursuing my quiet time with a different perspective. In April the faucet was turned back on!

Since coming here, I have been seeking the Lord to know Him more. To hear His voice clearly. I wanted a description of what God wanted for us here in Hamilton. I mean, obviously to get at Jesus' feet, but a more full description. So in April, during a IM chat with a friend from back home, I got a pretty descriptive download from the Lord about why we are here and a really interesting comparison. The Lord gave me 3 reasons that we are in Hamilton...

1)To know Jesus and learn to love Him. 2) To be in a secluded place where He could stamp a name on us: to name who we are to Him and our assignment on the earth. Also in that to learn to be that free from the opinions of man. 3) To learn to live day in and day out what we profess with our mouths to be the truth. To do it with no compromise in order to establish a firm foundation that He can build on.

Let me just say, I was super excited to get this. Its like glue holding together the last 6 months! Although I know this will be an ongoing process, I more understand why we've been going through what we have while we're here. Before Eric and I moved, we talked about the Lord using our season in Hamilton as a "bootcamp" of sorts. We received a prophetic word before we left (and before we told anyone we were leaving). The Lord said that the next season was going to be very lonely. That God was going to strip everything away that we depended on so that we would learn to lean only on Him. He would strip our family, friends...anything that we leaned on. That it would be a very emotional season with lots of tears". I guess when we heard the word, although we knew it, we didn't really consider it until we were in this stripping away process. During this download from the Lord, I also got such a deeper understanding of our time here, truely as bootcamp. Think about bootcamp: In bootcamp you are trained physically, you learn to listen, be quiet and take commands. In bootcamp everything that is you is stripped away--your clothes, your hair, your job, your family. In bootcamp you all end up looking the same, dressing the same, marching the same. To some degree, you are stamped with a new identity. You become just one of many. Without bootcamp, you can' go any higher up in the military: its a necessity and non-negotiable. While you will make friends there, your purpose in being there is not friendship. In bootcamp your body will cry from being pushed to a place its never been before.While you are surrounded by others, you are alone. It has a time limit. Not everyone makes it through. Bootcamp provides the necessary foundation for whats next in military service.

For us, Hamilton is bootcamp...maybe the totality of bootcamp, maybe only part...but it is stripping us. It is teaching us to only rely on the Lord. We are alone. Our bodies are crying out. It is giving us a foundation. We are learning to listen and take commands. We will be just one of many in this army. This revelation has been so amazing to me. Following it, eric and I have both had the most powerful encounters with the love of the Lord, we will never be the same. His love is enough. His love sustains. He loved me first and thats why I love Him.

Until next time...

$4 to Olive Garden and a $12.80 check

God cares so much. Although most of the time we fail to recognize even the things He does for us each day, He still cares, still loves us and in spite of our lack of recognition of Him continues in His quest of showing us again. I just want to share a funny, amazing, God breathed moment that happened to us yesterday. It was such a faith builder. A nudge from God. I love that He loves to do that!

Yesterday we made our one weekly trip to Tupelo to see civilization...aka the mall, restaurants and a real sized walmart. We have been taking karis to the mall each week to ride the carousel as a reward for using the potty. So we finally get there...and the operator is gone to dinner! (now this is after we have already walked around the whole food court trying to get "cash back"...eventually leaving the mall, going to walmart and getting cash...then coming back to the mall.) By this point, karis is pretty frustrated about the whole thing. She just wants to ride!! So while we wait for the lady to come back, we decided to walk around the mall. We walked to the end of the mall into Belk, hoping to spot a good mothers day gift. After finding nothing we proceeded to walk through the back of the store, and make the loop to go out.

As we're walking, a woman from Olan Mills came up behind us and started telling us about a coupon she had- a package of pics with no sitting fee and like 30 prints for $12. The whole time I'm thinking that it's a coupon--like a special their running for mothers day, and she's just handing them out. During the conversation, Eric and I say nothing to each other--we're just listening to this lady about the coupon. Then-- eric pulls all the cash we just got to ride the carousel out of his pocket. Im thinking, "He must have a word from the Lord to give this woman some money." So He counts the money--gives it to the woman. And we just bought a COUPON FOR OLAN MILLS! (which i stilll didn't realize til we're walking away from the woman) lol. So--I'm completely frustrated that we wasted $12 on this coupon we're never gonna use. Eric bought it thinking that, because I looked so interested in what the woman was saying, that i WANTED him to buy it!!! (Wow--not the greatest communication:) )

So--we're walking out of Belk. I'm on the verge of tears because we just WASTED $12 that we could've bought dinner with... and eric is in shock that I didn't realize we had to pay for the coupon. (I know $12 sounds like nothing--but when you are one income family and that one income is $8.60 an hour, part time....$12 is a lot! AND- we have been working to become good stewards of what God has given us-- so I felt like I had BEEN robbed of $12!!! )

***Just a side note-- We recently listened to a sermon from Mike Bickle at IHOP about giving extravagantly to God. He gave testimony after testimony of how God gave back to him when he gave. And so--we have challenged ourselves to give.***

So as we're walking to the carousel, eric is telling me not to worry about it. "Maybe the lady needed another sale for the day. ..it was only $12...it's no big deal." Then he says it..."God can give it back." I'm thinking--$12 is not that big of a deal to God! Well we get to the carousel-- pay the $2 to ride (eric and karis ride and i watch and wave:) When the horses slow down, signaling the end of the ride, THE LADY STARTS IT UP AGAIN!! (By the way-- we see this lady every week and she is not the most friendly type. I would have NEVER NEVER NEVER expected her to let karis go again, FOR FREE!!) So we're up $2. We leave the mall laughing, saying God has $10 more to go.

We head over to Olive Garden because Eric wants a good salad. In the center console I find a survey receipt from the last time we went to Olive Garden. The ticket says if you call in within 2 days of eating and complete the survey, you get $4 off. Well it had been WELL over 2 days! But I said "Well, we'll give God the chance for $4 more." So I call, and accidentally hit one of the numbers in our coupon code twice. Thinking, "oh well", i continue listening as the recording says, " We are having trouble retrieving your ticket ID. We are going to go ahead and give you the code for the coupon."

I'm trying to find something to write the code down...completely astonished--laughing hysterically that this is happening. So we're halfway to $12 right? We finish our time out, drive home and get out to check the mail. In the mail is one envelope of junk mail and 1 envelope from Dominion Virginia Power. Eric gets in the car saying, " I hope this isn't another bill-- we've been in Hamilton for almost 6 months." He opens the envelope and its a check for $12.80!!! I know. Crazy. Right?? By the end of the night-- we made money!!

It just brought such a fresh experience to giving and seeing God at work. I'm not saying God always is going to give back what you give, but He just might...and more!! I encourage you to listen to the message from Mike about it. I'll try and post a link:) Keep giving. But only give what costs you something! God is so faithful!!

Mike Bickle - Give Extravagantly: The Joy of Financial Power Encounters

Revival

"The only reason we don't have revival is because we are willing to live without it!" -Leonard Ravenhill

Lord send revival. Lord send revival. Lord send revival. Much of my prayer life consists of an ongoing asking for revival in our cities, nations and the world. After praying, and seeking and believing for it, my mind begins to wander, pondering deeper, "What does revival look like?" What would it look like at the onset? And most burning in my heart, how can we keep it sustained? (Let me first say--that above all else it will be by Gods uncomparable GRACE that He would send revival... but He wants us to be a part:) )

First- what does revival look like? In answering my own question, I began looking at the new testament and the life of Jesus. Revival looks like LOVE walking around on earth. Jesus was our greatest example of what love on legs looks like. Following Jesus, the disciples became love to people and transformed the face of the earth! Last night, a girl here at the ramp, talked about the verse, "Love covers a multitude of sins". She used the analogy that we are the shovel and love is the dirt. When someone hurts us...we shovel the dirt and cover over the hurt with love. When someone offends us...we shovel the dirt and cover over the offense with love. Wwhen someone is addicted and is contiually going backward...we shovel the dirt and cover over the addiction with love. Can you imagine the impact this "covering" of love would have on the CHURCH if we truly lived this way? And then...what impact would it have on the world?!? God is love. If we don't learn to operate in love and if the motivation of our hearts does not become love...I don't believe we will see revival. Another generation will go by without being wholly revived.

I believe when revival starts we will begin to see first love restored and unity in the bride of Christ. Then what will we NOT see!!! If we can learn to love Jesus and people, I think God is ready to pour out salvation, miracles, signs and wonders ..."I tell you the truth, anyone who has faith in me will do what I have been doing. He will do even greater things than these, because I am going to the Father." John 14:12 .

How do we sustain it...the same way it came!! Burning in the secret place for Jesus and allowing that love, born in the fire of His presence, spill over into the world. If we keep seeking. Keep living a life of holiness. Keep burning for Him...revival will come and will stay.

For an incredibly challenging yet prvoking read, read "Why Revival Tarries" by Leonard Ravenhill. It will transform your thinking on revival!

Love you all. Keep burning in the secret place.
"I pray that the Lord would raise up men and women in our churches, men and women who count others as greater than themselves and who don’t care about being known by other men, but that they would be known by you God. That is enough." Ravenhill

Real Love

I sometimes find myself in a discussion with the Lord about things that I just cannot understand. Typically, the things I just cannot understand, are actions and beliefs of Christians. I keep asking myself, "What does love really look like?" And so, I thought for a little while I would let you step into my mind. This blog could be considered a bit of a soapbox...but hey, i think we all need soapbox moments sometimes.

The first thought that comes to mind was stirred up after reading a friends blog here in Alabama concerning unwanted/foster/orphaned children. Why do we have children who are unwanted and unloved in America? Did Jesus not say that TRUE religion was to care for orphans and widows? Here's a little snippit from her blog..."80% of children diagnosed with down syndrome in America are aborted. That's outrageous, yet are we willing? There are more african american babies dying in America than are being born. That is outrageous, yet are we willing? There are thousands of children trapped in the sex slave trade who will come out with disfunction and wounds. That is outrageous, yet are we willing? There are currently 130,000 children (give or take some) available for adoption in the foster care system in America today. There are 300,000 churches in America. If every other church in our nation adopted a child we would have no more orphaned children in our nation. I think we can do this. I think God, in His great mercy, wants to give us an adoption movement. He wants to answer the shedding of the blood of 50 million babies with an adoption movement IF the church will be willing. We have no grounds to contend for the ending of abortion if we aren't willing to become the answer to our own prayers. If we say yes we can shape the world, one child a time."

I don't know about you but this just stirs my spirit. What does love look like? It looks like every child loved and with a family that loves Jesus.

The next thought that I ponder is why there is so much preaching today about what God can give us and so very little preaching about what we can give God. Please don't misunderstand what I am about to say. I do believe in the blessing and provision of God. I do believe He hasn't created us to operate in lack or poverty...But...because we are americans, i believe our perception of "lack" or "poverty" is skewed.
"If one hundred people represented the worlds population, 53 of those would live on less than $2 a day. Do you realize that if you make $4000 a month you automatically make 100 times more than the average person on this planet. Which is more messed up--that we have so much compared to everyone else, or that we don't think we're rich? That on any given day we might flippantly call ourselves "broke" or "poor"? We are neither of those things. We are rich. Filthy rich." (-Crazy Love)
Last night I was talking about this with a friend, and we came to the conclusion that our salvation from Jesus is enough and that He owes us nothing else. I often think of the scripture that says that it is hard for a rich man to enter the kingdom of heaven. If its harder to enter when you're rich, why do we desire great wealth? I mean, I know all of the "great" things that can be accomplished with money...but I also know that money has a way of drawing man away from the Lord, for whatever reason. I pray that the Lord would raise up a people that know Him in such a way that He is their treasure...He is their wealth. I guess I have just seen a church so distracted and focused on money that they are missing Jesus. What does real love look like? Selling everything and giving it to the poor and then following Jesus.

Those are my thoughts for today. It is impossible to love like Jesus without Him. God is love. Jesus--let my life look like real love.

Sunshine and Rain

It seems that the weather here cannot decide what it wants to do. We have had some incredible sunny days with beautiful sunshine...followed by some gray, cold and dreary days, some accompanied with cold rain or snow. So- we never know how we will have to dress tomorrow! Should we pull out the flip flops? We think yes- and then they call for snow! Sounds like virginia!

We had a fun week this week-- my parents came in last saturday (13th) and they left yesterday. Karis was happy to see more people from back home. She was all smiles while they were here, and sad when they left. We are trying to get back into a regular routine now that the grandparents visits have passed:) It was so nice to see them though:) Kind of like a visit home.

This week we got 2 great messages--one from Casey sunday night and then one from Missy on Wednesday night. Mrs. Karen, Chosen and Damon left last friday morning to head to conway, arkansas for a conference they are a part of yearly called "The Unlimited Realm" The conference was supposed to be fri-sunday, but because so many people got saved and healed and baptized, they pushed the meetings over through last night!!! They have had hundreds saved and baptized. Marriages restored. Healing taking place. How amazing to meet Jesus! What an exciting report from conway!! The Lord is moving in a mighty way in our nation!!!

Casey spoke sunday night about the ten lepers who Jesus healed. If you read the passage in mark, it says that as they (the lepers) went to the priest, they were made clean. Then after being made clean one of the men turned back and went to Jesus, thanking him. After thanking Jesus, the scripture says that that man was made whole. What is the difference in those that were made clean and the one that was made whole? Casey said that when we are made clean our sins (leprosy) are washed away. We are made clean, but the damage that has been done is still evident in our lives. For example, of you had leprosy, perhaps your hand or foot got eaten away by the disease. If you were made clean, yes, the leprosy would be gone but your hand would still be missing. You would live somewhat handicapped because of something that used to define. Although it no longer rules your life, you are still affected by it. But, in Jesus we can be made whole. When the one man went back to Jesus, he was made whole. There was no trace of leprosy left in his life!! Lord Jesus, that you would come in and make us whole--functioning as you intended!!

On wednesday night, missy spoke about being a highway for Jesus. In the same way that God is preparing the earth for the return of his son, Jesus, by raising up a godly generation holy and set a part for him, satan is also preparing the earth for the anti-christs arrival, by raising up a generation satuated in humanism ready to usher him in. We have to remember daily, moment by moment that we are in a battle, not with flesh and blood, but in the spirit realm. There is a fight for highways to be made. In our generation secular humanism is flourishing in our colleges- discipling a whole generation!! As well as in colleges, humanism has crept its way into the church. We have this idea that man is sufficient. Man can think it. Man can do it. And a lot of the time, Jesus' name is rarely heard. As long as seats are full and tithes are being paid, the truth is somewhat irrelevant. We are living in an age where there is no absolute truth. "Whats ok for you may not be ok for me. What is truth to me, wont be truth to my children. There is not just one way to God. There is no higher being or thinking than that of man. Man is the measure of all things" This way of thinking is running rampant across our nation. But the Lord will have victory...and I want to be with Him. Your reading of the word.Your fasting. Your praying. Although it may seem insignificant, it is preparing a highway for the Lord. When you get to know him and then allow him to live through you, the way will be made.

We love you all so much! Thank you all for your unceasing prayers and giving...

Lord taht we would live upside down..poured our for you.

Old Cars and a Light Bulb

Hi Friends!

Again-I have slacked on the posting. Erics parents came in on Thursday, we just have been getting ready for them to come and then enjoying the company. Karis was happy to see them, as were we. We were lucky to get 2 really pretty days this weekend with sunshine! They left yesterday morning and made it back to VA last night. My parents are coming on saturday, so we are looking forward to seeing them:) Here are some pics from this weekend. Karis is growing like a weed!

We had lots of fun play time outside in the sunshine. The old thread is a fun find we got at a little shop in town that Damons parents own. I was so excited when I found it--old wooden spools and some really old wooden crotchet hooks. Its upstairs in the sewing/prayer room, in a glass container, just for decoration. It looks lovely beside my huge jar of buttons Eric gave me for valentines.

We are in the process of getting some of the messages from the last couple of weeks. If you would be interested in having some of them, send me an email with your address and we'll work something out.

I'm sure you are wondering what the post title has to do with this blog today. So far...nothing. But I am about to explain old cars and a lightbulb.

Last night after Karis went to bed eric and I were flipping through the channels on TV and were finding nothing to watch. We passed a channel with these two men arriving at a location that was full of old junk. I told him to turn the channel back...i have recently become quite interested in old stuff, and how I can change it to make it new, but still look old. So- we are watching these two guys walking around all this junk, eventually getting to what looks like an old car graveyard. At that point, I become somewhat disinterested in the show...I dont really care about old cars. As I listened to what they were saying though, a light buld turned on. *Don't you love those moments, when you have no expectations of getting a revelation but..*DING*...the light comes on!

They were looking at this specific chrome part on the hood of this old car...(I have no clue what part it was--I guess its not really necessary to know anyway). One of the guys was noting that He would rather come and find an original old part on a car out of a junkyard to replace a part on his car, than to buy a reproduction that someone manufactured today. He said theres just something about having the real original part. He then went on to say though, that because so many people are using parts that are just "reproductions" the cars rebuilt with the real parts have lost their value. Car owners would rather not go through the trouble of the seeking, hunting and removing the original parts because its inconvenient, when they could just order a reproduction.

***What I am about to say, hopefully will not be offensive. Please note that I am not saying that the Church is in a helpless state or that all parts of the body are operating like this...but recognizing that there are problems out there is important to how we pray. How we operate as the body. For me, it magnifies things in me that are out of order. Hopefully, that self examination never ends. ***

*Light Bulb*--- this sounds like the church. We want what we have to look original...but we don't want to take the time or make the investment in searching out the real thing because its inconvenient. Are our Sunday mornings, our wedesday nights and our ministries replacing the real Jesus in our everyday lives? Have we settled for just getting togther ministries that look right, but have no authentic depth of relationship with the creator? Have become so accustomed with a reproduction, that we wouldn't recognize the real thing if we saw it? Maybe we wouldn't even be interested in whats real, because we have become satisfied at our cheap imitation of the real thing that costs us little. In reality, the cost of covenant with Jesus is our lives. Our time. It's setting our alarm clock. It's opening the word. It's learning to speak with Him constantly. I know for me, my life doesn't look that laid down. Unfortunately, I still am most concerned with me.

Although a little harsh, the truth is that the majority of us enjoy the imitation. In our human brains we think the way we are doing it is easier that the cost of submission and relationship. It 's a lot easier to depend on the "pastor" to do the seeking and the searching for us and to just enjoy what they've found on Sunday. The Lord is looking for people who will worship Him. Not because of what He can give you, not because you need something, but to worship Him because of who He is. The seeking, the searching, the hunting...although at times inconvenient and difficult...the process and discipline in what brings true revelation of Jesus in our lives.

Lord- make us a bride that is living in covenant with you. Jesus- that we would seek you first...YOU. Not ministry. Not full churches. But you. Holy Spirit come and lead us. We can't do it. We don't want to keep trying to do it. We are tired of fighting to make things work. You are the only one who can fufill us. You are the only one who can bring increase. Show us the parts of our relationship with you that are cheap counterfits of the real thing. You are all we need Jesus.

Until next time... seek whats real. Chase Jesus. Hunt for Him. He is worth it!

Quotable

Hello again friends!! I am just getting around to writing this--as I was supposed to do it Sunday!! We have heard so much revelation in the past 3 messages, I have not known where to begin to be honest!! In the meantime, Karis turned 2 last weekend. We had a little party with a few little friends and some cake:) It was a Pooh party of course! Thank you so much to all of you who sent packages to Karis for her birthday! You are all such a blessing!

We are all doing well...just trying to use this time to soak up Jesus! I am going to get the CD's from the last 2 services, and I'll come back and fill you all in on that word, but for now I am just going to give you some stuff from last nights message, at the Pastors Conference. It's so hard to pick and choose what to write, as so much of what Damon said is quotable. These messages have been such an encouragement and a push to push in deeper. I love that!

Last night we were in John 20...The Discovery of the Empty Tomb. I want to give you a quote from a book that Damon quoted, before I go into the rest of the message....or maybe thats all you'll get today:) It's pretty long...so we'll see! This is a quote from a sermon of a Pastor who is getting ready to resign from his church, back in the days of Jonathan Edwards (google him if you don't know who he is). Here it goes...

"At this point in the sermon, Parhurst addressed the text. He described how the Isrealites had turned from God, allowing themselves to be seduced by the ways of the wicked king Ahab and his queen, Jezebel, and how Jezebel killed off the prophets of God, and how Elijah retaliated by shutting up the heavens so it didn't rain. He described the incident in which Elijeh presented himself to Ahab and how the king greeted the prophet saying, " Art thou he that troubleth Israel?" Then Parkhurst described how Elijah called for a showdown, in which he would stand against the 450 prophets of the pagan god Baal in a contest of deities upon the summit of Mount Caramel. The rules of the challenge were laid down. Two altars would be built- one to Baal and one to God. No fire would be used to ignite the offering. In turn, the prophets would call to their respective gods and the deity who supplied the fire for the offering would once and for all prove himself to be Israel's God. The day for the contest arrived. And from morning to evening the 450 prophets of Baal danced and cried out and cut themselves, calling out to their god. Only noone answered. No one paid attention. Then Elijah prepared an altar to God. He placed an offering on it and ordered a trench dug around it. He commanded that 4 large jars of water be poured atop the pffering, then insisted it be done a second time...and a third time, so the altar was drowned in water. Elijah prayed and fire fell. The sacrifice was consumed, and the water in the trench was licked up. All the people fell prostrate and cried, 'The Lord , he is the God! The Lord, He is the God!' "
"From this dramatic account, several things have become clear to me. First, like the people of Israel, we have followed after other gods and allowed a distant king and his prophets of wealth to seduce us from the things of God. Second, I have noticed that when we do call out to God, we more resemble the prophets of Baal than the prophet of God. We stir up the dust with activity and then congratulate oursleves on the show. But where is the fire? Where is the fire"
" What will it take for the fire to fall? We need a troubler. Someone who will make us uncomfortable. Someone who will scoff at our pretense when we claim to be Gods people but don't live like it. We need a John the Baptist. Someone who is not afraid to look at our smug righteousness and say, 'O generation of vipers!" We need a prophet withthe spirit of Jesus. Someone not afraid to liken us to whitewashed tombs, pleasant to look at on the outside, but a rotting stench on the inside! We need a troubler. We need an Elijah. Someone willing to call us out and challenge us to our face: 'How long will you go limping after other gods? How long will you serve the guys of mercantile wealth? How long will you worship the gods of ease and comfort? If the Lord be God then follow him! But if Baal be god then follow him all the way to hell! Have i stated the argumetn to strongly? Have I offended you? I fear that I have not offended you enough. I fear that my greatest sin as you pastor is that I have at times cared more what you think of me than what God thinks of me. God in heaven send us a troubler!"

Thats it for now....just let that all soak in. God send us a troubler...

More to come on "Where is Jesus...He's not where he's suposed to be."

I Hired the Pressure

All I can say is...what a difference a change of perspective and a few days listening to the Lord can make. I guees from the last blog, my situation has obviously not changed, BUT my perspective definately has.

Thursday Eric and I made our weekly trip into Tupelo--we try and go there once a week to see civilization:) On the way we had a rarely found opportunity to really talk. And talking we did. I hadn't really had the chance to talk to him about all of the mixed emotions I had wednesday that had produced the last blog. I just began to talk about my frustration with the Lord, but not mostly with the Lord, but myself and the situation. I talked about how the whole reality of moving to Hamilton and what God was wanting to do in us just really hit me...and not in a good way. In response, Eric said that He had been dealing with the same thing wednesday!! That he had spent the majority of the ride to and from work crying and talking to the Lord about the very same things: the cost of the wasted life. I would say it was a much needed God moment for both of us. We talked out our expectations and our unmet expectations. Our frustrations and our failures. Our misteps and our flaws. And what the Lord was saying to us in all of that. And the resounding answer to the pressure we both have been feeling was this: You asked for it.

Nice right? We asked for it? I know I didn't ask for this. This pushing and pulling and stripping away of me??? But then I began to hear a lot of the prayers that I have prayed and a lot of the things I have begged the Lord for. Let me know you. Let me see you. Use me Jesus. Make me yours. Give me a pure heart. Let my life be a life poured out before you. Teach me to love like you so. Make me like Him. Use me, whatever the cost, to see a generation and a nation turned back to you. Burn me away until only you remain. I will wait for you, as long as it takes.
So, I guess I asked for this. Repeatedly, in as many ways as you can probably imagine. My hearts cry has been "whatever has to be done then do it. I just want you." And I'm getting that--not the way I expected, but isn't that just like the Lord.

And so just gaining the revelation that the pressure is being applied for a reason and that primary reason being because I asked for it, a whole new perspective could be taken. Then last night God just confirmed through Damon, everything He has been saying to us.

I just want to say before I get into the explanation of this message, with karis I hardly ever get to take notes. I actually leave usually feeling like I only heard part of the sermon- I'm sure most of you moms and dads can relate! But- I'm going to give you what I can remember that was so impactful!. I really would like to get this message on CD and send it to all of you.

Damon spoke out of 2 Corinthians 4. If we can ever get our perspective of eternity right, then everything else in our lives will begin to take it proper place. If we can see things from the view of 120 years (at the very longest) in relationship to ETERNITY, our present sufferings/afflictions will seem incredibly insignificant. Go ahead, take a moment, pull out the word and read 2 Corinthians 4. This will change you life if you let it. Ok, now go back and read 3:7-18.

In Chapter three Paul refrences our face being covered with a veil, unable to see God clearly, before we come into a relationship with Jesus. So, think now about a bride and groom at a real wedding: notice the veil on the bride. The veil doesn't allow the groom to see the bride but also it doesn't allow the bride to see the groom clearly. The veil is not lifted until covenant is made. Once covenant is made a clear view is given. Like the groom, God unveils our eyes after we have established covenant with Him through His son Jesus. I wonder if the reason Gods glory is not being revealed in the church is because we have comprimised the covenant? (thats another message)

Ok- so since we have established covenant with the Lord and can see Him. Lets go on. v.8-11...
"For we which live are always delivered unto death for Jesus' sake, that the life also of Jesus might be made manifest in our mortal flesh." Because of this covenant we are "delivered unto death" ... "afflicted but not crushed"..."perplexed but not in despair""... "persecuted but not forsaken"..."cast down but not destroyed".

Ok...go dow n to v. 15. "For all things are for your sakes..." So- the pressure is for my sake? The perpexity is for my sake? The persecution is fo MY SAKE? Being cast down is for MY SAKE? V.17... "For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, WORKETH FOR US (PREPARES and PRODUCES and ACHIEVES for us) a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory". I love this. Lets look at this in relation to my earlier stated revelation. When you are a seeker with a heart after God you pray the prayers I have prayed. You pray for the oil of the Lord to be poured on your life. You ask. You cry. You beg. And you know what God says-- Ok. I'll give it to you. You don't know what you're asking for, but I'm going to give it to you. In essence , YOU HIRED THE PRESSURE. So many time we allow the pressure to control us, BECAUSE we have a wrong perspective of eternity. We view our pressure in our time. HOW LONG WILL THIS LAST OH GOD??? But-- if we could begin to see the pain in the light of eternity, even 70 years of severe pressure would seem like nothing. A breath. But usually we end up working for the pressure- allowing it to hire us and bending beneath it...instead of saying, I hired the pressure!! I control the pressures effect. I can let it do one of two things- push me to God or away. Whether God is sending the pressure or is allowing the enemy to apply pressure, its up to us how we respond to the pressing. We can either revolt and jump off of the press exclaiming, "I didnt ask for this!! " Or, like the olive, you can stay in the press until you are pressed to a point that there is nothing left of you except dripping oil. Wow. I would rather have a life dripping with the oil and His precense than a life free from pressure.

Just as a side note- important to the context of "light" affliction in this verse. Would you consider being beaten with rods "light" affliction? I say that Paul would consider this light affliction because if you look at chapter 11:23-28 and read about the three times he was beaten with rods, you realize he left that out of the previous writings (along with other persecutions in this list). Maybe he didn't consider these heavy affliction. Maybe it was because he had the right perspective of eternity. And what do I consider light affliction? I'm tired. I can't pay a bill on time. My child in the hospital. Just a thought to consider in light of eternity.

Lets go on. One more verse :) 4:17 " So we fix our eyes not on wht is seen, but what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal." What we are going through is temporary. But neccessary to produce oil. What is unseen is what will last. If we can't see the end result of what the pressure is producing, we won't get what we're supposed to out of the pressing. So today- hire the pressure. See your life and momentary pressure in the perspective of eternity. And thank Him for the pressure:)

Love you all-- thanks for walking this out alongside of us. Keep pressing until oil is produced in you!

Wednesday Post

It's late. I should be asleep. I usually stop thinking clearly after ten and it's after eleven. Eric is in bed. The baby is asleep. I can hear the dishwasher running. *thank you Lord for a dishwasher* I'm just reflecting over the last few days. Thinking about what has changed, what has stayed them same. Thinking about the list of things that never ends or gets finished around the house...learning to let that go--I know it will never all be done:)

Sunday. The saints won the Superbowl. ONE of my husbands lifetime dreams came true. Although some may forget by next year who won this year, I have a feeling he won't soon forget.

Monday. We were all congested and felt yucky. I spent the day at home with karis in our PJ's, which I rarely do anymore. I always try and get dressed and ready for the day. It seems to help the day move along more smoothly. Monday night we watched a movie and ate pizza, which we couldn't really taste.

Tuesday. Another cloudy, rainy and cold day. I thought I was leaving the cold winters in VA! I guess not. I did house stuff at home with Raynie, had my 30/30 time with the Lord and searched the internet for some sewing tutorials. Karis still sings happy birthday to je-je (jesus) almost everyday. We sang that for Christmas--so everytime i mention someones birthday, she sings happy birthday to Jesus. Its pretty funny. Tuesday night. Prayer was cancelled because of a Chosen meeting. Nothing extremely interesting happened to note.

Today, Wednesday, February 10. The sun finally came back...but it was still freezing outside. I had a bad day today. Do you ever have those bad days? Days where you aren't sure how you feel about things? Days when you aren't sure what in the world is going on? These days rarely come but today...It was one of those days. The internet would not work all day --which was fine except I had work that really needed to be finished ASAP. I guess it could wait. Karis destroyed the living room...which is actually normal, but the clutter just made me crazy today. We got hot pink nail polish on the couch. No Comment.

I am not one to usually be completely transparent, unless I really know you. I have this need to have everything together and know everything that is happening. I want to know "why" the process and "how long" ... God has definately brought me a long way from where I used to be. Holy Spirit has been such a comforter and companion along the journey, but sometimes that old way of thinking tries to creep in. And I guess I just shut down the voice of Holy Spirit. To be completely honest -the reality of laying everything down really just hit me today. Leaving family and friends. Leaving comfort and "normal". Laying down gifts and talents. As I started thinking about all of this stuff today, I got really frustrated at the Lord. Why does it have to be this way? Why does it have to be here?

It has been very humbling to come here and join a community who knows nothing about you and can go on with or without you. Until our move to Hamilton I led worship for almost ten years. Eric and I led planted and directed Masters Commission, were youth pastors, childrens church leaders, associate pastors, house of prayer leaders, church cleaners, marriage couselors, bus drivers, accountablility partners and the responsible party for lots of young people. I listed those things not for the sake of tooting our horn--but for the sake of showing our way of life. A large part of it was ministry : preaching, teaching, singing, discipling, leading and serving. To go from that to just being A blacksmith in the community, has been a hard thing. And today I got mad at God about how unfair it was. I know- but I did. I know all he right things to say-- I know a good number of reasons why we're here. I do understand it's a part of the process. But I am human and my humanity today got the best of me.

When we were on stage, I thought that was hard. I felt misunderstood and misplaced a large majority of the time. I always felt like the message that God burned in us to speak, was misunderstood because people just didn't understand the burning. I thought discipling was hard. Cleaning wasn't fun. Praying at a 3am prayer watch with a room full of young people, a lot of moments wasn't exciting. Leading isn't all its cracked up to be. A lot of learning came from all of that time though. The last three years have been the hardest of my life. They have been very painful. I guess when we moved I thought that being in a place with a like heart and mind would be easier than the process we had been through. Ha. Meanwhile, I'm still asking God to change me. To make me like Him. To burn me away.

But when the fire comes in a way I didn't expect--I resist. Today, I had a day of resistance. I am learning that loving Jesus has to consume me in such a way that none of those other things matter anymore. If I never minister again on a stage. If eric never speaks another message. If we never formally disciple any other students. If I cannot love Him, everything else is worthless and tiresome. I have gone so long on ministry mode that I don't even know what it is to sit at His feet. I was so busy doing for Him, I missed a lot of quiet time getting to know Him.

What am I trying to say? I dont know excactly. Maybe that I'm human. That, yes, although this move was a brave, courageous, obedient thing to do and that God will reward it...it is scary. To put your life in His hands with no backups is crazy. I am seeking that I may know Him and be satisfied in Him alone. Him alone. Him alone. Just saying that can be overwhelming. Maybe, if God so grants it, one day ministry will be a part of our lives...but maybe not. And that has to be ok. For me, it is ok ...most days. But not today.

Tonight. By the way- service tonight was awesome. Ms. Karen spoke about love...such a simple yet complex command. If we could get it, our cities would be transformed. God help us to love the way you love.

Thanks for hanging in there--listening to my rabbit trail. Not sure that it made complete sense. It is after midnight:)

Jesus be my source. Holy Spirit be my companion. Help me to hold tightly to you and your word. True reward is knowing you...seeing your face...sitting at your feet.
Until sunday...

Opened Eyes, Health Food and New Fabric

Yes..I did miss posting wednesday night! Trying to get my priorities in order...lol. The post title pretty much covers the week.Before I go into the week though ... today karis was running around the house with her baby doll. She accidently ran the dolls head right into the door as she was running out of the room. Then she took the baby and kept saying , "Oh, Sorry". So sweet! She really is getting big--she will be 2 on the 20th! Wow! Where has the time gone?

This week has been great. Last Saturday night (last night of conference) there was a teenage girl there who has a rare eye condition. She had to take medicine on a regular basis because of the severe pain she had. During the service her medicine had run out and she was in pain. But, during the worship service her pain left her eyes and she went to her youth pastor, exclaiming, "I'm healed. God healed me. My eyes aren't hurting!!!" Last we heard she hadn't taken her medications since!!!! So if you need faith to believe for healing, let that testimony build your faith.

Wednesday night Stacie Reeser gave a practical message about eating healthy. We learned some great tips to gradually change eating habits to eat things that are best for your body. One necesity that is neglected is WATER. If you take your weight divided by 2 thats how many ounces of water you should have a day. WOW!! We also learned that sugar weakens your immune system. Basically sugar should be removed from our diet: white bread, white pasta, soda, sweet tea, lunch meats with nitrates/nitrites, most bottled water...etc. We need more raw veggies, less red meat and more turkey. It was really informational! Not that we have implemented all at once, but we are working on eating more healthy.

We ventured out to Tupelo on Thursday night and found the most wonderful store called Hobby Lobby! They have fabric, paint, art supplies home decor, party stuff, cards...almost anything!! So I got some new fabric for quilts and other projects. I could live in that store, with my Bible eric and karis, and be happy:) Seriously, it was great to find because our walmart has very, very limited craft supplies...i think they have party stuff, scrapbooking items and a few sewing odds and ends...no paint, canvases, fabric etc... So now I can get to work! I'll post some pics of the stuff I make after its finished. One of the ladies here at the Ramp asked me to make some stuff to put in a little shop in town, so we'll see how it goes:)

And so- here we find ourselves on Superbowl sunday: Saints vs. Colts. My husbands dream is finally coming true. It should be a good game aside from all the congestion in the house. Eric has a sore throat and ear aches and Karis has a cough with congestion. No more sickness!!

Back a couple of months ago Damon shared a challenge that He felt like was from the Lord about starting a 30/30 club. The first gun he ever received from his dad was a 30/30. And so, the weapon God wants to give his people in this hour is 30/30 : 30 minutes of prayer and 30 minutes of Bible reading each day. To be honest when I first heard it in July I thought--thats awesom, and I did it for about a week. lol. This week though God just gave me this poke that said "do 30/30. I'm giving you the grace to do it everyday." And so, I started 30/30! Not that I have no prayer life or that I never read the word--30/30 gives me an opportunity to follow the word of the Lord and have a consistant hour with the Lord everyday. When karis lays down for her nap--thats 30/30 time regardless of what else has to be done. So, I was reading First John this week and wanted to share a verse with you that just struck me.
" Dear children, keep away from anything that might take Gods place in your hearts."(1 John 5:21)
As simple as it sounds, that verse can hit you as deeply or as shallow as you will allow it to. My prayer this week has been ,"Holy Spirit, guard me from anything that MIGHT take the place of the Lord in my heart. I put you first in my heart." This is a daily process. A daily request to ask the Holy Spirit. And so with that, I challenge you to 30/30. Part of this walk is love - doing our part because we love Him. But the other part is training your flesh to follow and spend time with Him. You must have both.

Love you all... until wednesday...

burn

I am sorry for not posting again last week. Although it was my intention- here we are at Thursday morning again and I am again finding myself with so much to say...hopefully it can fit into this space! First of all ERIC GOT A JOB!!! He started at Tiffin Motorhomes on Monday. He's been working 10 hour days to catch up on orders. Thank you Jesus for your provision. There are several people in the Ramp community here still without jobs. Please pray that something will open up for them and that the Lord will sustain them until then with peace.

So, now that Eric has a job, I'm at home with Raynie without a car! So we have been very inventive finding things to do all day. Lets just say that we may have watched Peter Pan one too many times. Last night I dreamed that Karis and I were learning how to fly! Ha! I wasn't able to stay up, whatever that means:) Hopefully the weather will warm up and we can spend some time outside. I have made some invites for play dates, the first one being today:) We're lucky to have numerous kids around here that are around karis' age.

Last Wednesday night Damon shared about The Secret Mountain of Gods Presence. (I think that was the name--if not that it was along those lines:) ) Since then and over the past week some things have just been stirring in us. God is challenging us to take this walk with Him to another place. He is challenging us to live in the Secret place . Only out of that secret place with Him can any good thing come. We are learning how to make Him our lives. Learning how to keep our minds stayed on Him. Learning how to live undistracted by life. It is definitely a process that can only by accomplished in us with the help of Holy Spirit. God is just pressing us to strip things away...whether that be TV, sports, sleep, or just wasting time. This relationship with Him is work. It is laborious. But its worth it. We are positioning our lives to live in His presence. At some moments that repositioning feels like getting a leg broken in order that it would heal correctly. We are learning how significant yet insignificant our lives are. We just desire to burn for Jesus and for the things that are on the heart of the Father. We desire to live a life poured out and laid down for his purpose. Because of that desire there has been a great laying down of things that seemed important- our gifts. We have had to come to the realization that if we really want a life laid down, that means us maybe giving up leading on a stage. Sharing our "gift". While gifts are given to us to share, there comes a time that God will say, "Give it up to know me." It seems like a risk. It seems unfair. It seems unwise. Yet, when you follow what God says to do, its' NEVER a risk. The risk would be to stay on the stage. (Casey made that statement last night about risk in his message).

I am led to think about Abraham, who was given Isaac but then asked by God to kill him. I think about David, who was anointed to be king, and then BACK into the field to herd sheep. I think about Joseph, given dreams from the Lord, then sent to the pit and the prison. And then John the Baptist. A life truly laid down. He was in line to be a priest. I'm sure the expectation was that He would fall in line to tradition. And yet, God asked something different of Him. God didn't need another priest in the temple...but what he did need was someone to prepare the way. These men all had a choice to follow what would be considered fair and right according to the word they were given. Abraham could have held onto Isaac, David could have pushed his way past a mad king to take his rightful place, Joseph could have lived his life in bitterness, and John. John could have been a priest. All of those outcomes could have seemed at the time, the rational obvious choice. But because of their laid down lives, look what God could do! He made Abraham the Father of many nations, David a man after His own heart, Joseph a provider to his people and John, a burning example of a life laid down. And so- when looking at these men, and the lives of the disciples, we are ruined to try and live an ordinary, what seems right life. Today, I want the sacrifice, the field, the pit and the wilderness to be where I live. Those are the places where true character is determined. Whatever has to be left behind, its worth it. This life is too short to live not poured out.

I know this probably seems extreme. We have decided that's where we want to live though. I want to live without reserve. I don't want the American dream. I want Gods dream for me. Whatever that looks like. Whatever that costs.
"Sometimes I fear I'm too intense for my own well being.... then I remember the man with fire in his eyes and a sword in his mouth and think, "well I could be worse". " -Molly Huff

This has definitely not been a wrap up of our literal week...but this is what is burning in us. Until next time....

No man is greater than his prayer life. The pastor who is not praying is playing; the people who are not praying are straying. The pulpit can be a shop window to display one's talents; the prayer closet allows no showing off. -Leonard Ravenhill

Who's and It's

What an incredible week. I'm not sure where to begin.

I should start off first by saying that these blogs are definately not the best representation of all that God is doing in us and here in Hamilton. On wednesdays when we come in from service I can hardly put into words what we have experienced at service and have a hard time summarizing the whole week. I am contemplating maybe adding another blog during the week, hopfully to capture for you a more accurate picture of what God is doing in us.

This was a conference weekend so may brain is definately full! I would say that this conference was one of the most spiritually hard ones that I have been in. The goup that came in came in more with the attitude that, "I know how to jump, I know how to scream...this is just another service, and I can go through the motions." From the girls in the bathroom comparing the ramp to a rock concert to the squeals and shrieks of young ladies in response to EVERYTHING...this was just a different atmosphere. After several songs, we really just broke out in a time of prayer and Damon identified the majority of the young people in attendance as "mask wearers". .. By mid day service on saturday, there had been great repentance and change in hearts, resulting in a powerful saturday night service. Wrapped up in one sentance from the message..."The life of holiness should parallel the life of legalism but with a different motive." Just ponder that if you want more junk in your life cut out.

Sunday night Damon spoke about Paul and Silas out of Acts 16. (I must say that this message is one of my favorites- you can get an older version of it off the ramp podcast called A Generation of Its... But prepare yourself!)
As they were on their way to PRAYER, they encountered a demon possessed girl. { Note..whenever you set yourself to pray, or are going to pray, you will encounter the demonic realm!} She followed them saying, "These men are servants of the Most High God, and they have come to tell you how to be saved." Wow!! What pastor today wouldn't want that kind of message shouted out for them? Most churches pay for that kind of publicity. Instead of allowing the demon possessed girl to continue her praise of them, Paul spoke to the demon with-in her. "I command you to come out of her in the name of Jesus." And yet, we revel in the praise and elevation of the enemy and call it favor. Thus becoming people who desire to be known...these are the "who's"

Alongside of this text Damon talked about John the Baptist. A man set to prepare the way for Jesus. A man who's life is poured out in a hot desert. A man who is sent to prison, whose message is then stolen by Jesus. A man who has every opportunity to become offended at the one who He has poured his life out for. *Remember, while Jesus, Johns cousin, is preaching Johns message, John is in prison-- UNVISITED by Jesus.* And then, a man whose head is cut off for the sake of a holy standard. A man who lived as an "it"...A man who made a mold for a generation today to conform to. One crying out in the wilderness. One who wasted his life. One who noone recognized as Elijah come again.

Paul and Silas could have chosen to be who's...John didn't have to choose to be an it. And yet, because of their examples we find a mold to live by.

That is just a part of sunday nights message--it was really powerful. We had a time of prayer for healing at the end and many people were healed and set free. Awakening is happening.

Tonight Damons sermon was called, " The Secret Mountain of Gods Presence". Eric and I have been talking since we got home about things in us that the Spirit has reawakened even tonight during the message. I am actually going to save the service details until tommorow and let it sink in some more before I go on writing about it. God is just doing some major stripping away and some major focusing work in us. We are making adjustments accordingly. What does revival look like? We are finding out one day at a time.

Until tomorrow...